SOMETIMES just being there is enough, writes psychotherapist Jody Merelle.

Having spent many years listening to people tell me their stories of coping and survival in difficult times, I thought I would no longer be surprised at the power a seemingly small gesture can have.

I often hear how one word, one message or one hug can have an enormous impact on the life of another. In addition I am always reminding people of the significance of one small step in the right direction – so the concept is not a new one. However last week I had a personal reminder of just how true this is.

I spend one day a week working on a busy and high intensity hospital ward in Exeter. I arrived recently for a shift in time for the early morning meeting of ward staff. As I walked down the corridor to the meeting I was accompanied by a colleague from the ward who asked me that question we hear all the time – ‘how are you?’

On this occasion the standard ‘fine thanks’ answer felt like a cop out. I wasn’t feeling fine and didn’t want to say so. ‘If I’m honest, things are a bit tough at the moment’ I said.

There was no opportunity to say any more than this given that the meeting room was just a few steps away. However, my colleague knew that I was telling the truth and proceeded to do what felt like an extraordinary thing. She took my hand in hers and walked me the rest of the way to the meeting just like that, hand in hand. It was almost like a mother giving reassurance to her child.

This very simple gesture was quite unexpected. But I cannot tell you how powerful it felt. Without the need for single word, my colleague was saying ‘I hear you, I believe you and you are not alone.’

And in fact that was all I needed to hear at that moment. As human beings we often feel the impulse to try and solve things for the people we care

about. At the same time though we know that this is not always possible.

Not everything comes complete with an easy solution – and that can make us feel helpless because we can’t make those difficult things go away.

Often, though, the best and most valuable thing you can do is simply remind someone that you are there for them and that they are not alone. By seeing and validating a person’s pain, you are sending an important message that you are standing together with them in whatever it is they are going through.

Over the last few days I have thought back to that gesture many times. I am sure the person who took my hand has no idea of the power of what she did. But it changed my week and gave me the strength not only to get through that day but to keep going later on as well.

Whilst it is easy to feel helpless in circumstances we cannot fix or control, just letting someone know you are there for them and are by their side may well have a far stronger impact that perhaps you realise.

There may be a lot in life we can’t fix, but at least if you know you are not alone in facing them those things can suddenly become just that little bit more bearable.

My colleague’s kindness in taking my hand in hers last week reminded me of exactly that.